The sisterhood series, 2 of 3: A sister is both your mirror and your opposite

I had planned this such that my sister and I would be the last to feature. But alas, life being what it is, things done changed. The princesses will grace Real Empress' pages in the last edition, of this The Sisterhood Series. 

My sister is the inspiration behind this. She has for the most part of my life been a point of reference for life's challenges, a financier, caregiver, adviser and just a true best friend really, #MyBFF. I wanted her to know that I do not take for granted all that she has been, is and will be to me. In this second serving of The Sisterhood Series, I shine the spotlight on someone who is so much like me, yet very different in many ways, my sister Phoebe Ramothwala (now Mrs. Ramashilo).

My sister is...

Phoebe: Beautiful, different, outspoken and not a people pleaser.
Molatelo: Kind, practical, considerate, has a BEEEG heart, is strict and has a really gorgeous smile-I have envied her dimples and her perfectly shaped teeth ALL my life!

Having her as part of my childhood was...

Phoebe: Very problematic. I always knew that whatever I had done wrong, if she saw me, she was going to tell our parents. I used to sit on her. As in literally pin her down and put my weight on her head! She talked way too much,she still does. Our brother would be the advocate. When I strangled her, he would do the same to me. There was one incident where, I wanted to go swim in the nearby river and she followed me. When I got home and saw the look on my fathers face, I knew she had done what she does best,talk! Our parents passed when she was only 11 and our relationship took a drastic turn. I had to take the role of being her mother and sister and that made us closer. I had to make sure that she had what she needed, when she needed it.

Molatelo: A blessing, a gift, a chance at life and a nightmare when we were much younger. She was so many things to me in so many ways. She has always cared about my well-being and made some of the most incredible sacrifices for me. And, she just did it naturally, instinctively....Proper Big Sister Style. She also used to beat the hell out of me too though! We are four years apart so she entered her adolescent phase when I was much younger and by then, didn't really understand the laws that governed that world.  So while she was discovering herself, trying out new things, hanging out with boys... I would go telling on her to our very old school, disciplinary dad, who would swiftly deal with any reports of 'mischief' on his teenage daughters part.

Mirrors and Opposites.

She makes my life easy because...
Phoebe: I can tell her anything. She is the one person in the world who knows my strengths and weaknesses, my flaws and insecurities and pretty much everything that goes on in my life. She is also the best baby sitter in the world. When my husband and I want to have some bonding time, she never hesitates to babysit my boys. They also enjoy being with her because she lets them have everything they want and they can manipulate her.
Molatelo: She has an advanced ability to soften  life's bumpy blows.   Her considerate nature just kicks in whenever her profoundly accurate radar picks up that something is amiss. An instinctive kind of response. Without an overt request. She knows just when to call,listen, appropriately respond, buy me airtime and fabulous Woolies shoes, give me the most luxurious cosmetics,say things that will uplift me. She just makes things better...like a soft cloud that you land on whenever you trip on life's slippery roads.

                Flashing that million dollar smile: Complete with dimples and all.

She is really good at...

Phoebe: What she does. She writes sooo well, I get shocked when I read something she has written. She is just so concise and articulate. I admire that about her.

Molatelo: Being a peace maker. She is acutely emotionally intelligent - her background in Psychology might have enhanced this in her.  She's also a bad ass cook, a meticulous planner who cares about detail. She is a selfless supermom and wife too!

She is different from me because: 
Phoebe: She expresses her discomforts very easily and often calls a spade a spade.

Molatelo: She's sometimes overly practical. I think I'm more of a gut, emotions, kind of decision maker. She's more diplomatic and I'm rash. More reserved and I'm outgoing.

Outgoing versus reserved.

Her favourite things are..
Phoebe: 1.Clothes 2. Shoes 3. Beads 4. Wine 5. Seafood 6. Art 7.The beach... in that order. Lately she is obsessed with photography, I guess this blog somehow contributed, but she loves pictures.

Molatelo: We both love clothes! Thank God that we are not the same size. We already have accessory fights so I'm pretty sure it would have been a full blown war if it ever came to clothes. We also both love food.  And, surprisingly she loves big, fast cars. She is actually a bit of a speed freak! 

I love her because...
Phoebe: She is my only sister in the world. She listens when I need an ear, always! I can tell her anything without fear of being judged.

Molatelo:  I'm not copying her answer but the truth is, I love her because she is my only sister in the whole wide world. She holds such a special position in my heart. Being someone's only anything! I mean. Plus I can talk to her about anything and everything - on average we talk on the phone for about 7 hours a week!

We could be serious...but where's the fun in that?

We sometimes fight because...
Phoebe: She is stubborn. If she makes her mind up about something, its almost impossible to sway her in another direction. We both love beautiful earrings and if I find her jewellery bag unattended when she visits me, I  help myself and she does the same. That usually starts a mini fight!  

Molatelo: Of our different approaches to life. I'm more unconventional and a risk taker and she often tries to soft bully me into seeing and ultimately doing things her way.

Literally, a shoulder to cry on.

She crosses my mind when ... plays on the radio because...

Phoebe: Any song by India Arie plays. She always says "India Arie is a true reflection of beauty". If I had to choose songs, it would have to be strength, courage and wisdom and I am not my hair. She doesn't know this but I am more in love with Zonke. I heard Zonke for the first time from her and I now own studio and live versions of her CD.

Molatelo: Maria Carey's Hero. She was in boarding school and would during holidays come home with a rich music book - full of lyrics which we later learnt were mostly wrong. Her eyes would light up, accompanied but that priceless smile, every time she heard or sang it. I think it still has that effect on her to date.

Different, yet the same: A special kind of double.

Budget constraints aside, if I could spoil her I would...
Phoebe: A media empire, you know like the one on Generations with advertising, marketing, her own magazine and radio a station. She will just excel in running it. I would also buy her a beach house so she can take her morning walks on the sand and chill whenever she wants to. The house would have a wine cellar and obviously a BEEEG walk in closet with lots of space for her shoes.

Molatelo: She would love a beautiful yet simple and elegant, warm,  open home with a kitchen that has all the modern niceties. One of those that look like they are straight out of a home decor magazine. That's where I would start. I would also:

• Give her and her family trips to as many destinations as their hearts desire.
• Buy her  a fleet of beautiful fast cars. 
• Source a top quality Italian footwear brand  to custom make her shoes.
• Help her finally start her early child learning center, and

so many other things really. Even though I can never pay her back for all that she has done for me, I would make sure that all her material desires are catered for.

Look out for the last part of The Sisterhood Series which, as I indicated before, will feature princesses in the real sense of the word. Like most sisters, they always find their way back to loving each other en spite of their differences.

Have you got something to say about your sister? Please don't hold back. Real Empress would love to hear all about it.